This article is part of a series about the importance of confidence and how to cultivate it. Read the other articles here
Fake it till you become it
You understand the importance of confidence and how it increases and decreases in a self-fulfilling loop. You also started practicing daily affirmations and imagining your ideal self "playing the game before you play it", which hopefully helped you win more often. What else can you do? How can you project more confidence to the outside world, which in turn rewards you with positive outcomes?
Listen to your mum. Stop slouching.
Modern day habits like working in front of a computer, watching TV, or looking at a smartphone often lead to poor posture for many of us. Apart from the associated health risks, if you slump around like someone who thinks of themselves as a loser, your brain will reinforce that position, and others will amplify that as well.
Stand up straight. Face the world confidently, and people will react accordingly. The more you do this, the less complex and more automated it becomes for your body and mind to think like a winner, and act as such. Looking at it more cynically, and paraphrasing Jordon B. Peterson: if people think you can bite, you generally do not have to.
No need to walk around the world thinking that you should be ready to bite, but you get the point.
Realize that as a leader, let alone a CEO, it is always showtime. Your mood is contagious, spreading quickly throughout your team or organization. I’m obviously not advising you to be delusional or overly optimistic. Face the facts, as brutal as they are. But study the future well, so you can see the bright spots and emphasize them. Express optimism externally and internally, particularly in the darkest moments.
Notice that it’s not fake it till you make it. A more accurate description is fake it till you become it. The goal is not to be a successful bullshitter, the goal is to face the world and its challenges with your best self, not with a beaten-up version of you.
Again, in demanding situations I ask myself WWMD? How would the Mostafa I aspire to be stand, speak, think, feel, and move through each moment? It is often said that we should “dress for the job we want, not the one we have”. Put on the attitude and persona of the person you want to be, not the one you are.
This is not easy, particularly for those starting off with bad posture. Some of the things I found to be helpful are soliciting friends and family to constantly remind me when I slouch (they love that) and working out to strengthen my core.
So, start now. Notice how you walk around. Fix your posture and observe how your thoughts change.
And, most importantly, let me know whenever you see me slouch. I still haven’t figured that out fully
yet.
Have a spectacular, confident week!
/M
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