This article is part of a series about the importance of confidence and how to cultivate it. Read the other articles here
Management consulting is full of acronyms.
Walk into any team-room of McKinsey & friends and every second word you will hear will be MECE, POOMA, double-click, buckets, insecure overachievers, EOD, smell test, mickey mouse master, beach, or any of their close cousins.
It’s unbelievable how these words reach across all companies and continents, and - despite frequent updates - the classics are always there to stay. If you are currently in consulting I dare you to spend a full day without using any of them!
Do not get me wrong, I love acronyms and aphorisms and will probably dedicate one or two articles to their importance. But consultants just overdo it.
SABTA
I digress. The reason I remembered all of this is another beautiful consulting acronym, albeit a German one. If you are one of the lucky ones who worked in consulting in Germany, you would probably know SABTA (pronounced zap-taa). SABTA stands for Selbstbewusstes Auftreten bei totaller Ahnungslosigkeit, which loosely translates to acting confidently despite being completely clueless.
Proponents of the SABTA strategy emphasize the importance of body language, smiling, etc. - basically faking it until you become it. However, the key to confidence according to my interpretation of SABTA, is hidden somewhere else.
Sweaty palms and weak knees
You are moments away from closing a deal, having a tough conversation with a spouse or team member, or performing on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity - and your body seems to resist it with all its might!
You get nervous, and face an attack on all fronts #throwback
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin' What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow - Eminem, Lose Yourself
Your body’s reactions are automated and instinctive. Your brain hates change. It hates risks. And this is good, because these previously meant getting eaten by a lion. Game over.
But now, our brain is exaggerating. Even though the risks are much lower (losing a deal, team member thinking you are mean for a few days,..), our brains still treat them as if we might die.
In other words, our brain is being a drama queen.
The failures are mostly negligible and inconsequential, but it overreacts. Whenever you are about to change something, you start overthinking, doubting, and second guessing.
So what can we do about this?
3..2..1
Instead of ignoring or dismissing your fear, acknowledge it, understand it, and analyze it objectively.
What’s the worst that can happen? Can I live with that?
On the other hand, what’s the best that can happen? What awaits me on the other side of confidence?
If you have established that the benefit is worth it, how do you deal with your last-minute fear?
Snap back to reality, ope there goes gravity Ope, there goes Rabbit, he choked He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No He won't have it, he knows his whole back's to these ropes It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's broke He's so stagnant, he knows, when he goes back to this mobile home, that's when it's Back to the lab again, yo, this whole rhapsody Better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him You better lose yourself in the music, the moment You own it, you better never let it go You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow This opportunity comes once in a lifetime” - Eminem, Lose Yourself
Just as your body’s reactions are automated and instinctive, you can counter them now with another ritual. Use the power of habit to interrupt this old pattern by starting a new one.
Very simply, count back from 3 and do what you need to do. Rewire your brain to take the action you have been avoiding as soon as the countdown is over. It is a powerful habit to develop, and the cue to initiate it is very much in our hands.
Confidence is about actions, not feelings
We always think of self-confidence as a feeling, a strong inner belief in ourselves, our capabilities, our future etc. Confident people have no doubt, they move in steady steps towards their goals, and nothing can shake their faith in themselves.
It turns out, however, that confidence is much more about actions than it is about feelings. Confidence is the willingness to try despite being afraid. Confidence is acting even though you are worried and anxious. Confidence is Auftreten, ie. to act/behave/show up, and then figuring out what you will do.
In other words, confidence is just doing it!
Be scared, and do it anyway. Be under-qualified, and get in the room. Be messy, imperfect, and unsure and show up anyway. "Comfort is the enemy of growth" They don't say that for nothing. Get uncomfortable. - Alexandra Carter
The more you do this, the less risky everything will seem.
So next time you are procrastinating and afraid to do something you know in your heart is right..
Take a deep breath..
3..
2..
1..
And just do it!
Have a spectacular weekend!
/M
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